London, February 2018
A lymphoma has been devastated by the news that it is suffering from Piers Morgan. ‘Why me’ it could be heard weeping plaintively. ‘What did I do to deserve this?’
The cancer has set up a gofundme page where it is hoping that enough money can be raised to fly to India and have the malignant mass removed and disposed of once and for all, or at the very least for it to be returned to X Factor.