Absolutely Real True Facts

Washington, March 2018 New laws will require all students and teachers  at state-run schools to be armed. “It’s clear to us”, said some moron congressman, “…that the only way to stop a madman with a gun – is to ensure that anyone with functional arms who is with 250 feet of a state-run school – […]

Dallas, US What began as just a simple visit by Mr Edward Tard to his nephew in Boulder, Colorado turned into a drama of Doolittle proportions after his emotional support seal was prevented from bringing her emotional support penguin onto the aircraft. “She get’s very upset without her penguin”, said Mr Tard, while waving a […]

Washington, March 2018 Leader of the Illiterati, Donald Trump, has announced that armed bears are to be stationed in 92% of US schools in an attempt to reduce the number of mass shootings. “These will be big bears. Strong American bears. Nobody builds bears better than me” said Trump, when asked by a journalist about […]